Episode II: Attack of the Drones (Tentatively Titled)

The first post of any blog has a great burden to carry; as my roommate once said and I quote inaccurately, "first impressions are vital." To gain your attention, to "hook the reader" as college writing classes describe it, I've gotta hit the ground running and not look back or else I might run into something.

And this is why I have failed.

You're first impression of me may be varied. You may be thinking I can't count. You may be thinking this one of those cliche Star Wars blogs. You may not be here any more. And after this post you may think this is the story of a boy who cried a river and drowned the whole world, but I assure you it mostly reaches for the funny bone from here on out. I'll accidentally touch the sides once in a while, but you all will have to be the buzzer to my terrible Operation skills.

But I digress. I'll explain where this poorly titled post comes from.

From here on out I'm dividing my life into ill-defined fifths. The first 5th was my life until college and took about 18 years, so I'm being very optimistic and thinking I'll live until 90 (18 x 5). With my arrival in California, the second 5th begun. No one can say for sure what will happen in the next eighteen years or so, so this Episode is tentatively titled. Seeing as I think I'll live in L.A. for a good portion of it though, I'm gonna go ahead and expostulate that my life will be run by consumerism and bogens. 

"But Star Wars had six Episodes!" Yeah but I don't see myself living until 110, so I'll err on the side of reason. Regarding Episode I, will you ever get that story? Yes, but spaced out amongst the Episodes rather than after all of them. George Lucas may be a famous USC alum, but I will not follow his illogical ways.

So from here on out I will post about just about everything - sports, movies, life, etc. - that strikes my fancy. If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading this extended stream of consciousness. It won't normally happen. Hope you enjoy the 901 Blog and Grill! 

Until next time,

The Bouncer

P.S. If you ever find yourself calling my blog "The 9-0," ask yourself how much time and energy you're actually saving by making that contraction. The answer is not much. If you're not gonna call it the 901 Blog and Grill, at least call it the 901. Please.